JadenAlexis What are Feelings

JadenAlexis – What are Feelings?



        Storm clouds covered the usually bright sky over Duel Academy. Rain fell in thick sheets, adding to noise that was also created by loud peals of thunder. Any and every appliance that ran on electricity was out across the island thanks to the constant lightning that had taken a liking to the power plant located in the center of the forest.

     Funny, how the weather matched my emotions exactly. The worse I felt, the worse the storm got. I wondered if Yubel was purposefully messing with the climate in an attempt to make me feel better, but it was no use. Nothing could bring light back into my world, and I did not deserve it even if I did find something. After all the damage that I had done during my time as Supreme King, the universe had every right to keep happiness far away from me.

     And so far, it was doing a great job.

"Jaden?" a small voice called from the other side of his door.

Must be Alexis, I thought. After all, she was the only one who was still trying to bring me back to my normal self, unlike my other friends who had given up. But everyone else had the right idea. I should not be allowed to have friends, especially not someone as amazing and good as Alexis.

"Go away," I grumbled, turning over in my bed so that I was no longer facing the door.

"No," she said stubbornly. "I want you to come with me to the St. Valentine's Day party over in the blue dorm."

"No thanks." Why was this so hard? I did not feel bad for saying no, but it was still difficult to get the words out.

"Well then, do you want to duel?" she offered, her patience wearing thin.

"No. Please, just- go away, Alexis. I want to be alone," I begged quietly.

Suddenly, the entrance to my room burst open. Alexis held a flashlight with one hand and closed the door with the other. "Jaden, I am sick and tired of you being so rude! Don't you want to spend time with your friends, or do you just hate us that much?" she spat harshly.

I sighed before sitting up in my bed and staring up at Alexis. Even though it was at an odd time, I could not help but think about how pretty she was. Her dark blond hair blended perfectly with her pale skin and caramel-colored eyes, and she had a nicer face than most of the girls at Duel Academy. She was smart and funny too. Even though I was not one who knew how to properly judge a girl's beauty like Chazz or Atticus, I knew that Alexis was definitely one of the prettiest on the island.

"I just don't ever feel like hanging out with any one," I said dully.

With a dramatic rolling of her eyes, Alexis put her hands on her hips and leaned down to look at me. "Then please enlighten me on what you do feel like doing."

"Nothing."

Alexis glared at me for a solid minute before sighing and collapsing on the floor in front of me. "Jaden, you're worrying us all to death. It seems like all you do anymore is go to class and sulk in your room. You hardly ever eat, or talk to us. Or duel, which used to be the only thing you ever did. I'm not sure what happened while we were in the other dimension, but you've changed. And since no one else will tell me why, maybe you could let me in on the se-"

"I killed Jesse," I hissed, standing up and stomping over to the window angrily. If Alexis wanted to know so badly, well then, I would let her have it, every freaking detail. "Instead of searching for him, I became evil and sent everybody I ever cared about to the stars. Then, when I had the chance to save him during a duel, my freaking obsession to winning kept me from him. And unlike all of you, Jesse didn't come back. He's dead, permanently, and it's all my fault."

After a few moments of silence, I heard the swish of Alexis's clothing as she stood up and walked up behind me. She gently placed her hand on my arm and laid her head on my shoulder. "Oh, Jaden. I know that this has got to be extremely hard for you, and I hate that you've been carrying this around with you for so long. But isn't that what friends are for, to help you up when you're down?"

"How could I ask for you all to comfort me when I treated you all so badly? Alexis, I killed you all, and if it hadn't been for the professor, you'd still be that way," I growled, angry at myself rather than at her.

Looking up at me with eyes full of grief, Alexis wrapped her arms around my waist. "Jaden, none of us blame you for what happened. You were possessed for all's sake! We're your friends, and it's sort of our job to make you happy when you feel like crap."

"And I know that, but I shouldn't be so dependent on you guys. You don't deserve my baggage."

"Jaden, you've experienced things that none of us could ever understand. This is exactly what happened to Zane. You were just forced to grow up quicker than us. It's not a bad thing, per se, just not what you necessarily wanted to happen."

"And I don't want to 'grow up'! I want everything to go back to the way it was before," I said, the tears I was  pretending were not there, threatening to spill over.

Alexis's bottom lips trembled as if she were about to cry as well. She reached up and placed her soft hands on my cheeks, pulling face down slightly so that she could place her forehead to mine. Squinting her eyes shut, she whispered, "I want to help you so badly, but I don't know how. Please tell me what you want, and I swear I'll give it to you no matter what it takes."

My eyes scanned across her face, looking for the truthfulness behind her words and found it. How could I turn that beautiful face away when she was so willing to give me whatever I wanted? "I just want to feel again. At first, I wanted the pain to go away, but now I'm just numb. And I'm tired of it. I want to feel something, anything!"

Alexis blinked, the tears that had been locked in her eyelashes now falling down her cheeks. Then, she pulled herself onto her toes and pressed her warm, smooth lips against mine.

At first, I think I was just surprised. I had never been kissed before, and I never thought that it would have been with someone as amazing as Alexis; Jasmine, maybe, but not Alexis. But soon, the shock turned into complete and total bliss. Who knew that something as simple as one touch could feel so nice? The way her small body was leaning against mine, her soft hair tickling my face, even her fingers knitting themselves into my hair, they all added to the wonderfulness of this moment. But unfortunately, Alexis would only allow a little peace at a time. She slowly pulled away and leaned her head on my chest.

"Alexis?" I whispered.

"Yes, Jaden?" She looked up into my eyes, seeming as content as I was in the moment.

"Thank you."